Face drop

I'm on primary care this month and I got placed into an HIV niche clinic. So, as stereotypical as it may sound, I've seen a fair share of really gorgeous, fit, and well-dressed gay men in the last two weeks. For every patient, my preceptor sends me in first to get a quick history of why they're coming in. There's a lot of flu symptoms, various GI problems, and occasional back pain. My attending makes me give an oral presentation, lets me watch him try to find nonexistent physical exam findings, and then typically sends me on to see the next patient while he finishes up with prescriptions and last-minute concerns.

Last week, I noticed that quite a few of his patients had last minute concerns. I would be waiting to present the next case to him, and I would see him duck into the office lab and come out with a cup of liquid nitrogen.

Yup. Our patients had some genital warts that they didn't want to tell me about. Three patients, in fact. In one day. No joke. And no, not a single one of them mentioned it to me when I was taking down their problem list. Way to make me look like a terrible med student, patients. Thanks. Thanks a lot.

Later on that day, as my preceptor and I were sitting in his office writing up our progress notes, I summoned up my courage to ask him about the liquid nitrogen.

ME
So the office has liquid nitrogen on tap?

PRECEPTOR
Yeah. We see a lot of genital warts and it's just easier for me to do it. Since I've known most of them for quite a long time, I think they're more comfortable talking to me about it. Don't beat yourself up about it.

ME
Oh, okay. Thanks. [long pause] I actually had a favor to ask you...and of course, please feel free to say no, since I know it's kinda awkward and all that.

PRECEPTOR
Hm?

ME
Well, I know it's weird to treat a student, especially off the record, so again, please feel free to decline, but I've got a wart [pointing to right index finger], and it gets irritated a lot from just daily activity, and so I was wondering if you could burn it off for me...

PRECEPTOR
Whoa, what!? You want me to do what?!

Turns out, he wasn't looking when I was embarrassingly trying to ask him to burn off my finger wart. And given that he's used to burning off genital warts...well, it's easy to see how he got the wrong idea.

ME
[blushing like crazy]
On my finger! I have a wart on my finger!

PRECEPTOR
[sigh of relief]
Oh sure. Haha! That's fine. Just remind me tomorrow.

I never did ask him again about it. I figured my mid-clerkship grade was due soon, and the less conversation about warts - genital or digital - the better.