And when I'm studying, the amount of food I eat goes disproportionately up up up. Disproportionately, because well, it doesn't make any sense; I'm sitting at a table studying, and presumably not using up many calories at all. But I eat, and I eat a lot of crap like Twizzlers and chips, because heck, if studying is not a time for comfort food, I don't know when is. So yeah, I eat my weight in potato chips, chocolate, candy, and wash it all down with some caffeinated soda.
So this morning, I realized that my supply of Twizzlers was getting dangerously low, and it was starting to affect my practice test scores. So I rang up my mom, who was conveniently at the grocery store, to ask her to bring some back for me.
MOM
Twizzlers? More??
ME
Yeah, I only have like 2 sticks left.
MOM
I can buy you some healthier snacks, like grapes or bananas or something....
ME
[bratty]
No. I want Twizzlers!
MOM
But...see, the thing is...Michelle, you're getting a little chubby.
ME
[loud audible gasp]
Mom!! Did you just call me fat?!?!
MOM
[defensive]
But it's cute! [realizing that's the wrong thing to say] I mean, I'm just joking!
SISTER
[who is with my mom, cracking up in the background]
Hahaha - no you're not. And only babies can be chubby and still cute.
ME
Whatever. I still want my Twizzlers, thanks. Cherry flavor, please.
I'm taking Step 2 soon. And apparently, the only way I'm going to pass is if I'm 20 pounds heavier. So bring on the Sunkist. And definitely bring on the Twizzlers.
