This post brought to you by Keep It In Your Pants

I know. It's been a while since I've written one of these. Maybe it's because I'm in med school, and the boys here are far less awkward (highly doubtful). Or maybe it's because I've grown up and learned to avoid these situations (unlikely). Or maybe it's because I'm so busy studying all the time, I don't fully appreciate it when they do (probably).

Or maybe it's just because I'm not on the undergrad campus anymore.

Last Saturday, Northwestern had its annual Dillo Day. Wikipedia it, but basically it's the day Northwestern pulls out the stick up its butt and pretends it's a state school. There's lots of alcohol, drugs, sex, and of course, rock 'n roll by the lake.

Now, having officially finished my first year of med school on Friday (cue applause and congratulations here - I made it somehow), some of my friends and I decided to venture down to the undergrad campus and relive our senior years.

Unfortunately it was pouring, and the concerts were completely full - so we ended up at a friend's friend's friend's roommate's friend's house party. So we sat around and played drinking games, card games, even Connect Four, while music blasted over some computer speakers. It was a chill, laid-back afternoon.

The undergrad kids were drunk and high out of their minds - offering us pot, asking us to take off our tops, volunteering to take theirs off too - I was amazed to remember that I was one of them just a year ago.

Then that infectious Prince song came on. And this white boy started singing along to it.

Prince oozes sex.

A slightly pudgy, balding, white boy - singing along to Prince - oozes everything but.

Laughing, I turned back to my card game and resumed playing. Then in the background, I heard a collective gasp, but I was too engrossed by the fact that my pair of eights had just won the round, to care. Then one of my friends threw a Connect Four checker at me. I turned to protest, and then I saw it.

Five inches from my face, was that white boy's scrotum.

Shrieking, I quickly turned my head away. I made eye contact with one of my guy friends, who seemed just as horrified as I was.

Is that what I think it is? I mouthed to him.

He nodded. Amused, but more than a little disgusted.

Holy crap. Is it...is that real??

Again, he nodded. And then put down a pair of aces. Which soundly defeated my pair of eights. And with that, I was back in the game and the scrotum was out of my head.

I'm glad I got out of undergrad just in time. I might be traumatized for life.

Okay, maybe not life, but for at least the next couple of weeks.

Hello lovers.

It's summer, and I'm back. :)