Yes, I like a little 'mud on the tires'

My fabulous medicine team went out for team lunch yesterday. My attending took one car, and it was somehow decided that I would drive the rest of us.

But as we walked towards my car - me with my two 3rd year med students and my co-intern - I realized that I ought to warn them.

ME

Just so you guys know, my car is a mess.

CO-INTERN

I'm sure it's fine!

ME

No really, it's a giant HIPAA violation, I just toss all our patient lists in my back seat. Also, I feel compelled to tell you guys that I've only been driving for eight months. Just in case you want to drive with our attending instead...there's still time to run over to his car...

MED STUDENT

Somehow, I still trust your driving more.

So then we were off. And as I focused on making sure that I drove safely, I suddenly realized that my two med students were making faces at my co-intern, and when they saw me watching, they all simultaneously burst into laughter.

ME

What!! Why are you guys laughing!

GIRL MED STUDENT

Michelle. You disclaimed all these things...messy car, student driver...but you never told us that you listen to country music!!

---

P.S. $5 to whomever correctly guesses who my attending is in the above picture.

Everything sounds funnier in British

ME

Well, it looks like your benazepril is the culprit for all this angioedema.

PATIENT

[in very cute British accent]

Bloody hell! I look like shit. Look at this! My lips are massive! I look like f*cking Mick Jagger! Except, I don't have the moves like Mick Jagger. 

[starts humming the chorus to that ubiquitous song]

ME

Don't worry, it'll start to go down, cause we're starting you on some steroids.

PATIENT

Steroids! I'm not going to blow up and look like some freakish body builder will I? You'll have to call me The Rock! Or what's his name? The Hulk? You know, oh wait! Hulk Hogan!

ME

No no, hopefully all this swelling will just start to go down. 

PATIENT

I bloody well hope so! I mean, I'm already exploding! Look at my arm! I've turned into Popeye after a serious dose of spinach!!

Don't mind me, you've just got some tomato in your hair

Today, I went to my very first noon conference.

And quite possibly my last. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Our team finally finished rounding before noon for the first time all month! Oh, five-hour-long medicine rounds, how I've not missed you. Anyhow, my co-intern and I decided to celebrate this momentous occasion by getting our learnin' on. So we grabbed some lunch and we went to my very first noon conference.

Unfortunately, even though this was the first time all month that we've been able to attend, we were not, by any means, on time. So as my co-intern and I noisily burst into a rather non-stimulating presentation on rheumatoid arthritis, we were forced to make our way to the front of the intern crowd, where only a row of senior and chief residents shielded us from the lecturer's flying spit.

And as I pretended to pay attention to the fascinating side effects of anti-TNF drugs, I bit into one of the cherry tomatoes on my salad, which promptly burst all over the coat and hair of the girl sitting in front of me.

...

Oops.

...

The thing is, the girl's hair is so luscious and thick, she didn't feel me spray her with tomato juice and seeds.

I looked in horror at my co-intern who was cracking up silently, not knowing what to do. We didn't have any napkins, so instead, I took my hands and started trying to wipe away the evidence from the girl's head.

Let me remind you here that I am sitting near the front of the crowd.

And so, while I'm trying to surreptitiously clean this girl off, to everyone else, it looks like I'm randomly petting her hair.

What I didn't know was that I was petting the chief resident. Who quite understandably snapped around in her chair to see what the heck I was doing. I promptly turned beet red, and faked a page so that I could get the heck out of dodge.

So as I was saying, today I went to my very first and very last noon conference. So much for learning!

Sigh. What is wrong with me???

I'm falling behind in my TV watching

Reverse spoiler alert: This aired on The Voice a week ago, but I just got around to watching it. Thanks medicine wards!!

But seriously, this was incredible, beautiful, flawless, and so so gorgeous.



I have no idea how she chose a winner; they were both so perfect.

Love love love.