Don't mind me, you've just got some tomato in your hair

Today, I went to my very first noon conference.

And quite possibly my last. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Our team finally finished rounding before noon for the first time all month! Oh, five-hour-long medicine rounds, how I've not missed you. Anyhow, my co-intern and I decided to celebrate this momentous occasion by getting our learnin' on. So we grabbed some lunch and we went to my very first noon conference.

Unfortunately, even though this was the first time all month that we've been able to attend, we were not, by any means, on time. So as my co-intern and I noisily burst into a rather non-stimulating presentation on rheumatoid arthritis, we were forced to make our way to the front of the intern crowd, where only a row of senior and chief residents shielded us from the lecturer's flying spit.

And as I pretended to pay attention to the fascinating side effects of anti-TNF drugs, I bit into one of the cherry tomatoes on my salad, which promptly burst all over the coat and hair of the girl sitting in front of me.

...

Oops.

...

The thing is, the girl's hair is so luscious and thick, she didn't feel me spray her with tomato juice and seeds.

I looked in horror at my co-intern who was cracking up silently, not knowing what to do. We didn't have any napkins, so instead, I took my hands and started trying to wipe away the evidence from the girl's head.

Let me remind you here that I am sitting near the front of the crowd.

And so, while I'm trying to surreptitiously clean this girl off, to everyone else, it looks like I'm randomly petting her hair.

What I didn't know was that I was petting the chief resident. Who quite understandably snapped around in her chair to see what the heck I was doing. I promptly turned beet red, and faked a page so that I could get the heck out of dodge.

So as I was saying, today I went to my very first and very last noon conference. So much for learning!

Sigh. What is wrong with me???