Into the well

I know girls get a bad rep for always yelling at boys to "put the toilet seat down," but really, it's for good reason.*

One. Sorry boys, but not all of you have the greatest of aim, and well, we'd really rather not have to touch the seat when goodness knows what's been oozing down it. And let's face it, you guys are far less cringe-tastic when it comes to germs. And having to touch them.

Two. It really is true - sometimes we just don't look before we sit down. When it's 3am in the morning, and you're bleary-eyed and just need to pee like there's no tomorrow, you're going to go in, peel off your underwear and just sit. I, being Asian, am blessed with a small butt.** Which means, my entire butt will fall into the toilet bowl if the seat is not down. Yes. This has indeed happened before.

In all honesty, when not in use, I'd rather have the lid down too. Because my toothbrush is in there (the room, not the toilet), and my loofah, and bath towels, and my hairbrush. The thought of pee and poop particles meshing with things that are supposed to make me clean... gross. And this is off-topic, but I think my demands are minuscule compared to my sister's. She makes her boyfriends SIT while peeing. True story.

BUT (and it's a big non-Asian-sized one), I actually quite enjoy walking into a public bathroom and seeing the toilet seat up. Because it can mean only one of two things. Either a boy was in the wrong bathroom (doubtful), or the cleaning people just came through and performed magic (read: thoroughly scrubbed down both the toilet bowl and the toilet seat).

When Michelle doesn't have to squat, Michelle is happy. Little things in life, people.

Also, it makes for a really satisfying bathroom run.***


Some notes on this post:
* If the Boy is reading this - no, this is not my passive-aggressive way of trying to tell you to put the seat/lid down, because I know you already do. Every time. It really is quite remarkable how good you are about it. And I thank you. My little Asian butt thanks you.

**To my bigger-bottomed girls out there - this is not meant as an insult, because I would kill to be like T-pain's Apple Bottom Jeans girl and hit the flo', because like Sir Mix-a-lot, I too like big butts.

*** I mean "bathroom run" as in going to the bathroom, much like how one would say "an ice cream run" when embarking on a trip to Cold Stone's to get ice cream. I am NOT referring to a case of the runs, because dude. That is more so gross and disgusting, and decisively not satisfying in the least. Although in retrospect, if one does have a case of the runs, I suppose it would be far better not having to squat.

****I'm sure you're wondering why I'm posting about all this, but no worries. One day, maybe I will tell you.