You've got a friend in me

Life is full of surprises. Sometimes bad, but sometimes amazingly wonderful. Like free cup of coffee day wonderful. Or birthday party wonderful.

Friends will surprise you. Sometimes in great ways, sometimes in not-so-great ways. They'll surprise you by how one friend can hold onto something so seemingly petty, while another is willing to overlook giant flaws and mistakes with a smile. I think that's probably why I have such trouble opening up to people. Because only those close to you can hurt you. Only those whom you counted as your closest friends can betray your darkest secret aspirations. It hurts when they laugh at you, but it's heartbreaking when they laugh about you.

I've been slammed more than once on this whole friendship thing. In high school, my best friend of seven years started dating my boyfriend less than a week after we broke up. I was stood up at my seventh grade Sadie Hawkins' because one of my so-called friends told my date that, no - I wouldn't mind going stag, and yes - of course I would understand the draw of going with a much older and wiser eighth-grader, and yes - she'd definitely let me know about it. She didn't tell me, and she was wrong about how I'd feel, of course. Middle school is awkward enough without having to deal with that kind of school-wide humiliation. And I could have killed my mother (and my orthodontist) for giving me headgear just one week later.

But forget my pity party; that's not the point of this post. The point is, every now and then, friends will surprise you and make you realize that opening up to someone is not a bad thing. Their friendships are worth all the betrayals and slam books and gossip that might be said about you. Because you can point to someone who you know will bail you out of jail if need be. True, they might not let you forget it 'til the end of time, but they're there. Whether it's with chicken soup when you're sick, or a sympathetic ear to listen to your relationship problems, they're there. And while it might not make sense at the time, looking back I've realized that it's all worth it. Because one true friend is infinitely better than five fake ones. The way I see it, at least with the betrayals, I can tell who is truly worth my time.

Perhaps one of the best things is when you finally realize that you've had one of these true friends all along, and just never fully appreciated them.

I've known a girl whom I'm always called a friend. The thing is, while we may have talked about celebrity blogs and reality TV, the truth is, I never knew how much I could open up to her. We were always nice to each other, studied together every now and then, but I never really talked about things with her. I was an island, plain and simple.

I realize that being an island is not something to be proud of. Everyone needs someone to confide in. I mean, look at Tom Hanks* in Cast Away. Everyone needs a friend, even if it is an inanimate object.

This week, I realized that it is okay to open up. No pretenses. No lies. Just pure, unadulterated - though sometimes messy - honesty. And I can't even tell you how validated I felt to be accepted as is. Flaws and all. It was wonderful, not to be shut out. Rejected. Instead, you built me up, made me reevaluate things.

We might have only had the foundation of acquaintances or mere study buddies at coffeehouses, but you said things I would only expect from someone I've known and confided in my whole life.

Thanks for understanding. Thanks for knowing, somehow, that I needed you when I did. For inviting me out to lunch. You've kept me sane while I've had to deal with all of the recent events, all the sudden coming-of-age realizations. Thanks for asking all the right questions, and for reassuring me about other big question marks in my life. I've been far more vulnerable with you than I might even have been with my own sisters because it felt safe. Comfortable.

This past week may not have changed where I fall on your friend ladder, but this week I realized that I'm merely glad to fall somewhere amongst the rungs, because you - you are one heck of a good friend.



*I don't know why I keep referring to Tom Hanks movies in my posts. I swear I'm not obsessed. Really. I blame TBS and their week-long Tom Hanks marathon.