ME
Ugh. I had a bad day today...and I'm feeling really terrible right now. And unloved. And crappy. Ugh, I hate this. Can you cheer me up?
MARTIN
Sure! [sing-song] Michelle - do you know how much I love you? Let me tell you... my love for you is like dots in a line, and according to the rules of geometry, lines are infinite. And you know how my watch has to be wound up because it's an automatic? If it ran on my love, it'd never stop. And you know how stars die, but we still see the light? I love you as much as that, because the light keeps going. [pause] How about that?
ME
[dying with laughter throughout his speech]
Hahahahahaha!! What is up with all these abstract metaphors? Star light? Lines? I don't know if they even make sense! Shouldn't it be like a circle? A line?!
MARTIN
Yeah, I don't know why all my metaphors are all math and astronomy and physics and stuff.
ME
Hahahahahahahaha!
MARTIN
Fine. Fine! I love you as much as flowers, okay? No, I love you as much as rainbows. There.
ME
Soooooo, you only love me on rainy days. And your love dissipates after half an hour.
MARTIN
See? This is why the abstract ones are better.
ME
Okay fine. You love me as much as a dead star. Wonderful.
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