First time

Today was my first day in the OR.

I scrubbed in for the very first time in my life.

And then I scrubbed in again, when I ultimately did something wrong and touched something non-sterile.

I put in my very first foley catheter.

I held the retractor as my attending cut open the amniotic sac, and didn't freak out when blood and fluid squirted out all over my gloved hands, spilling over the table and onto the floor, soaking my booties.

I watched as my attending and the surgical assistant used brute force to open the uterus and force the baby's head through the seemingly too-small incision. And I held back happy tears when I saw that baby boy's head pop out and heard him start squealing.

I cut sutures. I retracted. I wiped away blood. I pulled out blood clots. I stapled.

And the whole time, I smiled. Today was a good day.