Hesitation blues

There are days when I wonder if I'm going into the right specialty. Specifically, the days where I look down at my shins, and I have 3 new bruises from kids kicking me as we take them off to seclusion. Or when I look at my forearm and wonder if that kid bite from earlier this morning is going to become infected.

But then there are moments that make my heart hurt for these kids.

After almost a full two weeks of child psych, I was finally allowed to lead one of the groups. Specifically, the "Talk About Feelings" group. We filled out our feelings card appropriately, and went around talking about why we felt nervous, or frustrated, or scared, or whatnot. And then, I brought out a plastic genie lamp from the 99 cent store, and told them to tell me what their three wishes were.

One kid wished for more video games.

Another kid wished for a puppy.

One girl wished for a million more wishes and a thousand dollars.

An oppositional kid wished for the genie to be free so that we wouldn't have to play this stupid game.

But the last kid's comments almost killed me. "I wish I didn't have Tourette's, because it makes my mom really anxious, but even though I try to stop my tics, it's really hard. I try really hard...but sometimes, they just come out."

He looked down forlornly, and my heart just about broke into a million pieces.

He's only five, mind you.