ME
You know, there's a new trend with mini-dresses. But I have to wear them as shirts, because they don't quite cover my butt.
LEE-ARNG
Would you rather be short?
ME
Yes. Oh my goodness, yes. Shoes are cuter with heels. Everything's cuter when it's smaller! If you're tall, you cannot be cute. You can be elegant, and well, that just doesn't apply to me. At all.
LEE-ARNG
Just wear those flat ballerina shoes. Those are cute.
ME
Eh, I wear flats all the time. They're not so cute when they come in size BIGFOOT.
LEE-ARNG
Pff...I bet a lot of girls would love to be your height. So poop on you.
ME
Poop on you? What are we, five?
LEE-ARNG
I always end my arguments on the most cogent point. Which is usually "poop on you."
