Long distance friendships

Best friends don't last forever.

It's just hard to maintain that level of closeness, especially when you're separated by 2000 miles and multiple time zones and strange night float schedules and engagements and new babies. So, it's hard. And the best-ness in the friendship starts to feel a little less "be fri" and a little more like you're marching slowly but inevitably towards the "st. end."

So best friends don't last forever, because they just can't.

After two and a half years, I finally saw J again.

Two and a half years is a long time. A long time trying to sustain a friendship on just random text messages and occasional happy birthday facebook wall posts. And we both knew that if it weren't for interviews, there was no way he'd be out here in Los Angeles visiting me.

I think he knew it was awkward too. He didn't ask to stay with me, but booked a hotel instead, opting instead to spend $300/night out of his measly resident salary to avoid awkward silences and lack of personal space.

So when we finally met up the day after his interview, it felt a bit strange. It felt a bit awkward. I mean, where do you start off a real-life actual conversation that you haven't had in two years? I pulled up to his hotel, and got out of my car to give him a big hug.

Instead his giant chin punched me in the forehead.

And right away, we started laughing, and the awkwardness melted away, as he pulled out his phone to show off pictures of his brand new baby, and then took my phone to create some new shortcut to fix my GPS so that I can actually find my way home now from anywhere in the United States. (Yes, I might be more excited about that than seeing J for the first time in a two years.)

So sure, best friends don't last forever. But at some point, best friends become dear friends. And that's when you know you'll be friends for a long time, even if you don't talk on a weekly basis. Because you know each other well enough that you can just pick up where you left off, even if you're both ten pounds heavier and now dealing with more stressful life issues like mortgages and diapers instead of midterms and final papers.

I'm going back to Chicago next weekend for my undergrad reunion. Here's hoping that this whole best-friends-equals-dear-friends-who-aren't-awkward-around-each-other theory holds up and I can show off my new non-awkward, non-klutzy self.

I don't have high hopes.