More than words

I'm at a loss for words. Literally.

Well, not my words exactly.

I've lost my syntax.

Because words? Words I have, but they no longer flow together smartly, wittily, intelligently. It's like I've got a big bag of Scrabble letters, but I'm having trouble creating a word, much less one that's going to get me a triple score. See, while I can apparently thesaurus my way out of a bad sentence (see above), I just can't bring things together coherently anymore.

No, I didn't have a stroke. I'm not suddenly aphasic. But I do feel like I haven't been able to blog at all, because nothing comes together the way it used to. A little bit of me blames my six month stint of no weekends and overnight call every fourth night. Some of me blames the fact that I've been making powerpoints and reading scholarly articles instead of drifting off into gorgeous-take-your-breath-away-fantasy-lands in read-into-the-wee-hours-of-the-night novels. But a lot of me blames plain ol' exhaustion. It's hard to be inspired when you fall asleep in your car before you can make it in your own front door to your actual computer.

But now I'm back on psychiatry, so what's my excuse? Well, the light at the end of the tunnel lied, and the hours on psych aren't all that different from medicine, peds, or neuro. And I swear that sitting in three digit temperatures, while making a 40-minute traffic-filled commute, is turning my brain to mush. Liquid tofu, in fact. But thanks to Lee-Arng and John Green's literary canon, I think my brain is finally starting to wake up again.

Here's hoping I learn how to make those synaptic connections again.