In which I try to make the judge read between the lines

Today, I had a probable cause hearing in which I had to testify in front of my extremely sweet, but extremely psychotic and paranoid sixteen-year-old patient. The thing is, I'd been doing therapy with him for two weeks, and even though he was absolutely convinced that everyone else was out to get him, he had started to trust me and tell me things...like how everyone else was out to get him. So now I had to give my testimony  and use the right words so as to not set off my patient and keep our therapeutic relationship intact.

Sounds easy enough, but I found myself trying to wink my way through it, hoping that the judge would understand the hidden meanings behind my words.

JUDGE

All right Dr. Wu. So can you tell me why this child should stay in the hospital?

ME

Um, yes sir. Our patient has had a very troubled past and had terrible things happen to him, including things that no child should go through...[and here I fought the urge to actually physically wink at the judge]. He has very firm beliefs that others are conspiring against him and the other patients and feels it is necessary to protect them at all costs. 

JUDGE

Hm. I see. Well Sam, would you like to say anything?

SAM

Yes sir. I need to get out of here, because they're trying to kill me. I'm not the one who needs to be here sir. There's a man in the walls who's a shape-shifter and he's going to kill us all unless I get out of here. I'm begging you, Your Honor, you gotta let me go so that I can avenge all of our deaths!!!

So much for trying to side step around the issue.