Chalk it up to PMS or seasonal affect disorder or holiday withdrawal or whatever else might be making me irritable, but some of my friends have been falling way short of the friendship meter.
Friends make friends feel special. Involved. Wanted.
You do not make preliminary plans with someone, and then forget to call them. Two days in a row.
You do not invite my entire circle of friends to dinner except for me - because clearly, I'll hear about it, and wonder how I must have offended you. And if you do, please don't treat me the next day like I'm one of your best friends the next day - don't hug me and tell me how nice you think I am. Because that just makes you two-faced. And since I'm not as fake as you, it'll show, and everyone around us will think I'm a horrible horrible person.
Please don't tell me you're going to come over, and then show up 3 hours later.
And please! I don't want to be your backup girlfriend. Don't only call me up when she's out of town.
I want to be special. I don't want you to take me granted. If we've made plans for 5pm, 8:30pm is not an appropriate time to show up. And in this day and age, everyone has cell phones. It's called pick-up-your-phone-and-let-me-know. Now, I'm not hypocritical. I know that I'm not always on time. I'm always running late, and am typically about 5 minutes late to everything. But there's an eon of difference between five minutes and 2 hours. I may not always be strictly punctual, but I'm always relatively on time. Here's my thing about lateness. Being 5 minutes late is okay because chances are, you were brushing your teeth and brushing your hair. Common decency things. Last-minute things so that strangers don't look at the two of you strangely and wonder why you're walking around town with a bum. In fact, sometimes, that kind of lateness is a little flattering. Oh - he was late five minutes, but he clearly gelled his hair for me. Aw, he's worried about first impressions, etc. Think about first dates and how girls are always STILL getting ready when the guy comes over to pick her up. It's because she wants to look good for him. And she's running behind because the first fifteen outfits she tried on weren't good enough.
But if you're 2 hours late, that's because you just don't care. Oh, she's just going to be studying anyways...it's okay if I go take care of this first. Oh, she's not that important, and I really REALLY need to go to the post office. Or so on and so forth. And when you don't call to let me know that you're gonna be late, it makes it even worse. Because now I'm not even worth that ten-second phone call.
I'm somebody. And I would like someone to just acknowledge my presence every now and then. I don't need anything big. Who needs flowers and chocolate? I just want you to be considerate. Put a little bit of effort into our friendship. Do anything. Something. Whatever. Just let me know that you realize friendships aren't one-sided.
3 years ago
