Valentine's Day is coming up, and every year I've written happy posts about how it's great being single and how we should grab the day by the proverbial horns and be excited about the prospect of love, even if we aren't currently in love. We don't have to be in love with someone to be in love nevertheless.
This year isn't any different. I still think Valentine's Day is a great holiday. It's one more day to tell friends and family that we love them. That we care for them. It's one day to appreciate all that we have going for us in the world. No matter where we are in our lives, we all have something that we love.
That classmate who saves you a seat in lecture. The homeless man on the corner who realizes that you're never going to be able to pay off your loans, much less give him money, but still says good morning to you every day anyways. Flipflops. Cherry ice cream with chocolate fudge bits. That super cozy armchair. Coffee with just the right amount of hot cocoa mix and creamer - just the way I like it.
So while I'm still my optimistic self in that regard, I have to admit that I wish there were someone. A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about my dance therapy seminar class. I'm still not a big fan of all the personal space sharing and touchy-feely class discussions, but I've come to the realization that I really want to dance with somebody. I've only celebrated one Valentine's Day with a significant other, and well. He wasn't big on holidays. And I burnt the cake. And that's a whole another story. The point is, while I don't mind being a free spirit, all I really want this Valentine's Day is to dance with somebody.
I need you to realize how important that last comment is. I never ever want to dance with others. I never want to dance period. A self-proclaimed klutz, I’ve always felt more like an elephant in a china store than a graceful dancer. While others might flit and float about, I trample and trip my way through life. And I never feel more awkward than when I have to dance with someone. It seems so foreign to me - to imitate and respond to another's movements when I can barely get my own body to do what I want. Really, how can you expect me to follow someone's lead, if I can't even convince my feet not to trip all over themselves?
And I don't mean actually dance dance. Like foxtrotting and swing dancing kind of dancing. I mean, being able to say or do something, and have that someone understand you so well that they respond in kind, pulling you in different directions and leading you to discover a whole new you, as trite as that might sound. I miss being so close to someone you can feel his breath on your neck. I miss being held so tightly it's hard to breathe. I want to dance with someone in a room all by ourselves. There doesn't even need to be music. I want to get lost in some fantasy dreamworld with someone else.
The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.I know I'm not going to find someone magically in the next ten days. I wouldn't even want to find someone in the next ten days. 'Cause that wouldn't be love; that'd be desperate. So I'm content to keep dancing my own dorky dances. But I'm ready to dork up my dances with someone else, with the right someone else. Hello world. I wanna dance with you.
