All right friends. I need to write the best gosh-darn maid of honor wedding toast ever. It needs to make my sister laugh and then cry, but not be so sad that her makeup starts running (because I'm pretty sure she'd kill me for ruining her $500 face). Oh and it needs to be in simple enough English so my parents understand what's going on. Ready, set...critique!
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When I was in eighth grade, I entered an "important woman essay contest". Some people choose famous women like Elizabeth Blackwell, the first female doctor, and Britney Spears - remember, this was before she went crazy and shaved her head. Me? I wrote about my older sister, Annie.
And ten years ago, I must have done a pretty good job because I won that essay contest. See? But tonight's not about me.
Annie cracks me up with her "you know what's funny" stories, pushes me to do my best, and is always there with a hug when my best isn't good enough. She looks out for me - saving books for me to study, loaning me Monopoly money when my dad makes me pay my million-dollar-rent on Park Place, and fiercely takes my side whenever I get in a fight - even if I started it. She's led the way for me, showing me what to do, such as getting A's in school, and what not to do, like staying out past curfew or attempting to parallel park. She is my role model, my confidante, and my friend.
When I was going through my awkward years - and by that I mean high school and college and just last week - I'd go to her to complain about everything...school, parents, life, being thirteen...but mainly to complain about boys. To which she always had the right answer. Boys suck. Boys are stupid. Throw rocks at boys.
And wow! Here we are. She's found one boy who doesn't suck. Who isn't all that stupid. She's found one boy that I'm glad to welcome into the family. Ever since I've met Tim he's been the older brother I always wished I had. Beating me at burping contests, teasing me and calling me names like michi shi-ru (which is a play on miso soup), and refusing to concede even ONE point in Wii Tennis even though he has a thousand points and I only have a hundred. But when it's important, Tim's always there for me with a hug...or his manly muscles to help me carry in the groceries.
Annie and Tim, I'm so glad you found each other, because you both deserve nothing but the absolute best. And that's what you are. The best.
So please raise your glass with me and let us toast my fabulous sister and my fantastic new brother-in-law.
To Annie, my gorgeous and intelligent sister, and her new husband Tim - the luckiest guy alive.
3 years ago
