I love coming home to California. But invariably it means I'm going to run into old faces. At the grocery store, at coffee shops, even randomly at the post office. And while most of the time it's nice catching up, finding out who's now married with children(!!), who's moved away, and so on, there are the occasional run-ins that are super awkward.
I went to brunch with one of my high school friends the other day. We had just ordered, and I was helping myself to a yummy-looking muffin when he walked in. My high school boyfriend. The one who started dating my best friend before he broke up with me. Yeah. We didn't really keep in touch, but can you blame me?
I was seated facing the door, so we made eye contact when he came in. He dropped his eyes right away, too afraid to even look at his friends who were with him. Now, given my recent success with one ex, I was positive I could make this work out too. High school was forever and a decade ago. It's all water under the bridge now. So when his friends saw me (remember, he was still staring intently at the floor), I smiled and waved.
They walked over to say their hellos. We all had gone to the same high school, so everyone knew everyone else. There was no need for introductions, we could just skip pleasantly to the overly-friendly, over-eager, how are you's.
But as my ex's friend opened his mouth to start the aforementioned expected exchange, my ex butted in and exclaimed, What are you doing here?!
Not used to this kind of confrontational greeting, I sputtered and said I was back in California for my sister's wedding. Our friends looked on, aghast, and more than slightly afraid of what was going to happen in the next couple of minutes.
My friend, jumping to the defensive, threw the question back in his face. And why are you here?
Lunch, came the unequivocal answer from the friends.
We made small talk, finding out where we all were located now, realizing we were all home for the holiday, and then leaving a huge silence where real friends would have invited each other to picnics and high school reunions.
Then my ex spoke up. Again. So you're still in Oregon?
I blinked. Oregon?
Yeah, aren't you in some strange med program or vet or pharmacy thing up there?
I blinked again. Um, I'm at Northwestern med. Which is in Chicago, Illinois...
I was so flabbergasted at the question I drew out the syllables, bringing out my nonexistent ChiCAHgo accent and turning Illinois into noise. He knew I was at Northwestern. He had applied for the same program in high school, and was extremely bitter when he wasn't interviewed. Our friends all knew this, as he had gone on a rampage back in the day about how he had such better credentials than me and he deserved my spot.
Our friends were silent. And the awkwardness piled up around us.
And just when you think it couldn't possibly get any worse, the hostess appeared and cheerily asked if we all wanted to sit together.
NO no no, said my ex's friend, a little too forcefully. We're having lunch.
The hostess took a moment to process that. And then started to say what we all were thinking (which is that you can eat lunch and breakfast at the same table), but I shook my head at her and said that we were fine and would be leaving soon.
Oh okay, she said, picking up on how low the temperature had dropped. Well, I'll get your table ready then, as she walked over to the farthest part of the room, to a table that would have no eye contact with mine whatsoever.
We all stood there, not quite sure what to say to each other.
My friend came to the rescue, simply stating, but pointedly, Um, my eggs are getting cold.
Relieved, we all said our goodbyes and nice-running-into-you's even if we all knew they were total lies.
And here I thought I was making progress on the whole Awkward front.
3 years ago
