Sunday, July 06, 2008

Make me over

Tomorrow the class of 2010 starts their third year of med school. And they're excited. A little apprehensive maybe, but excited. Because third year means seeing real people, being in the hospital. Being a third year means they're that much closer to the endgame. It's so close they can taste it.

Tomorrow the rest of my classmates will start their third year. Tomorrow, I will sleep in and then clean my house. Morosely. Because tomorrow, I will be beyond depressed that I'm not in their shoes.

Instead, I'm stuck. Stuck where I have been for the past year. Stuck in the libraries. Stuck away from doing what I've been waiting and wanting to do my whole life - take care of people.

This year will be different. Different people. Different friendships. Slightly different coursework.

I wouldn't change what happened and what I ultimately chose, because I needed this time. And I grew so much during this time. But that doesn't mean I can't wish a little for what coulda woulda shoulda.

So tomorrow I'll be a little sad. No, tomorrow I'll be a lottle sad.

And then the day after that, I'll pick my chin up and carry on.