What can I say, I'm a smiley person. The original s'Miley Cyrus, if you may. So on my first day on surgery, I walked up to my assigned ENT attending, smiled, and introduced myself.
ME
Hello sir. Dr. Shah? I'm Michelle, your third year med student.
DR. SHAH*
[never making eye contact, and muttering all of this under his breath]
Okay okay that's fine. Just stand over there. We don't have any patients yet.
Hello sir. Dr. Shah? I'm Michelle, your third year med student.
DR. SHAH*
[never making eye contact, and muttering all of this under his breath]
Okay okay that's fine. Just stand over there. We don't have any patients yet.
I nodded and pulled out my Surgery Recall book to peruse. I saw an empty chair and sank down into it. Heels, after all, are no walk in the park.
DR. SHAH
[still not making eye contact, and still muttering - to the point that I'm not sure if he's talking to himself or addressing me]
No no, students don't get to sit. Chairs are for attendings. Walls are for students.
[still not making eye contact, and still muttering - to the point that I'm not sure if he's talking to himself or addressing me]
No no, students don't get to sit. Chairs are for attendings. Walls are for students.
I jumped up, making way for the invisible attending that was to sit in that chair. Or the three other empty chairs nearby.
I eventually got my first patient, did a crappy H&P job (seriously, what questions are you supposed to ask beyond how are your ears/nose/throat?), and went with the patient to the mini sinus CT scanner.
The scan finished and I went to go find Dr. Shah.
ME
[smiling per usual]
Oh, Dr. Shah? The scan's done.
DR. SHAH
And what did it show?
ME
[smiling still but nervously now, because I've never read a CT scan on my own in my life]
Um. There was a patent airway, nasal and orbital bones were intact --
DR. SHAH
[cutting me off]
Don't give me that A-B-C crap you learn on medicine. What were the pertinent findings?
ME
Haha, um --
DR. SHAH
Why are you laughing? This isn't funny. Be a doctor and tell me what was important.
ME
[no longer smiling]
I believe there is some residual mucus in the sinuses
DR. SHAH
Which one? ALL of them? Just one? Damn it, use medical terminology.
ME
Um, I believe it's not the maxillary or frontal or sphenoid ones.
DR. SHAH
So it's the ethmoid sinuses. I didn't realize we were playing a game of 'not this but that.'
ME
I'm sorry sir.
DR. SHAH
You should be. Don't waste my time.
[smiling per usual]
Oh, Dr. Shah? The scan's done.
DR. SHAH
And what did it show?
ME
[smiling still but nervously now, because I've never read a CT scan on my own in my life]
Um. There was a patent airway, nasal and orbital bones were intact --
DR. SHAH
[cutting me off]
Don't give me that A-B-C crap you learn on medicine. What were the pertinent findings?
ME
Haha, um --
DR. SHAH
Why are you laughing? This isn't funny. Be a doctor and tell me what was important.
ME
[no longer smiling]
I believe there is some residual mucus in the sinuses
DR. SHAH
Which one? ALL of them? Just one? Damn it, use medical terminology.
ME
Um, I believe it's not the maxillary or frontal or sphenoid ones.
DR. SHAH
So it's the ethmoid sinuses. I didn't realize we were playing a game of 'not this but that.'
ME
I'm sorry sir.
DR. SHAH
You should be. Don't waste my time.
Needless to say, I didn't smile the rest of the day, for fear of being yelled at. It's going to be a long three months.
* Not his real name, of course. Because he hates me. And smiling.
