Bigger than my body

I could be famous.

Well, I’m not. But I get mistaken for it whenever I fly.

So I’m an Asian girl. And it seems that every time I go home to Los Angeles, someone on the airplane asks me if I’m a different Asian actress. It helps that my dad travels a lot and always upgrades my ticket to first class. It helps me exude importance and celebrity.

Ohmigosh, hi!! I love your work!!

Huh, what??

Can I get your autograph?

You talkin’ to me? Very Robert De Niro of me, I know.

Oh is this a bad time?

Oh no no no. I just think you have the wrong person.

You're not Sandra Oh?

Substitute in other names – Lucy Liu, Gong Li, Michelle Kwan. It’s the same every time. Well, sometimes they don’t know the names and just say things.

Oh! You’re the girl from the Bond movie! Tomorrow Never Dies! That scene with the you know what was amazing! And the way you kicked that guy’s ---

Or sometimes they’d talk about me loudly to their very disinterested husband, who’s just trying to read the latest sports news.

Look Hank…it’s that girl from the Charlie’s Angels movies. (Cue here where Hank looks up and is mightily disappointed that his wife isn’t talking about Cameron Diaz or Demi Moore.) Look Hank…are you looking? I didn’t know she played the violin…why do you suppose she’s in Chicago? Excuse me miss, are you ---

But my response is always the same. I’d smile politely at them, blush a little and tell them that no, I’m not who they think I am. I’m just a plain ol’ student going home for the holidays. To be perfectly honest, I silently gloat inside that my commonplace genes somehow look famous during this exchange. But I digress. They look a little embarrassed and then after an appropriate amount of time has passed, go off to get their luggage.

Today was a little different.

So you’re not Ziyi Zhang?

No, sorry.

Oh…

That’s disappointing.

Man. If I had known she’d be so crushed, I would have pretended right along.

But the icing on the cake happened five minutes later.

Look Hank, at the woman in 4B. Isn’t that Princess Diana?

Marge. Princess Diana’s dead.

…

Oh.