It's supposed to be exciting. Adventurous, even. I get to meet two hundred brand new people. My next best friend could be sitting right next to me, and this day - this first day of class - will be a story we'll tell our babies about over and over.
But it's not. Not in the least. Instead it's scary and alienating. Because I'm one of the few strangers in this class. Everyone else has had a whole year of PBL sessions and ethics small groups to get to know each other and cultivate friends-forever-ships. Everyone knows everyone else's name. Everyone has designated sit-in-the-library-cubicle-next-to-me buddies. And their bar-hopping, dance-happy friends are sitting bleary-eyed right next to them, large Dunkin Donuts' coffees in hand.
But they're just faces to me. Unknown faces. Beautiful yes, but intimidating as hell.
Today, I walked into that classroom, already full of chattering friends inquiring about summer breaks, summer loves, and even some summer research. I grabbed the first empty seat I saw, and being the big dorky nerd that I am, I pulled out my notes and computer, and carefully aligned my highlighter and pens in straight parallel lines, since I had nothing else to do. I never felt more alone in my whole life.
My coffeeshop study buddies and fellow lawnmower dancers are saving lives in the hospital, far far away from the terrors of classroom learning.
So here I go again. Time to make some brand-new friends and find new study buddies. I know it's going to work out - it has to, right? But do me a favor and cross everything you've got for me.
I got one facebook friend request today. So that's a start.
