The other day, a couple of friends and I were celebrating a golden weekend, so we hit up a local bar to just hang out. As we nursed a couple of beers, chatting up our most memorable (read: craziest) patients, a guy probably in his late 30s - balding and pot-bellied - came over to us.
He addressed my two guy friends first. "Hey guys - are you working this angle?" as he gestured at me. "No no! Not at all! We're just friends!" They sputtered, tripping over their words, as their denials couldn't come out fast enough.
Now, I'm not a bar regular. I don't know bar etiquette. Do I tell the guy upfront that I have a boyfriend? Is that presumptuous? I didn't quite know what to do, but luckily, I didn't have time to get a word in edgewise, as the guy kept going, full steam ahead.
He gestured at me, his hands straight out, as though I were assessing for asterixis. "Well then, I just wanted to tell you, that I love this outfit that you've got going on..."
I looked down at my ratty tank and jeans, as he did a little wax-on, wax-off move.
"But you know what? I have something for you that would make it even better," he said, as he did a poorly executed magic trick and pulled out a flower made from one of the bar napkins.
He held it out to me. I blinked at him.
My guy friends, watching this whole time, swallowing their guffaws, nudged me and stage-whispered, "TAKE IT!"
I took it, awkwardly. "Um. Thanks!"
He blushed brightly, and I instantly felt bad for him. I wanted to tell him that I appreciated it, but I had a boyfriend. But before I could get out two words, he stopped me. "Just so you know, there's a special treat inside." He paused dramatically. "...my phone number."
My friends lost it. And they started cracking up, all while kicking each other under the bar, hoping that the pain would make them stop laughing.
I again, awkwardly thanked him. He smiled at me and then went back to his friends, sitting at the other end of the bar.
I put the flower back down on the bar, without opening it, as I could see him and his friends periodically glancing over to see how I would respond. My guys continued laughing, wiping tears from their eyes.
At that moment, Judy arrived at the bar. "Hey guys!" She called out to us brightly, making her way over to us. Then she saw the guy, and she stopped and smiled. "Oh hi! Dr. Lang!"
Dr. Lang?
We made our way over to Judy, as she engaged in a little bit of small talk.
Dr. Lang looked at us. And then gestured at Judy. "Are you all friends?" We nodded. He hesitated. "Are you all med students?" We nodded again. "Fourth years," we told him. At that point, Dr. Lang's posse of friends started laughing.
Judy smiled brightly, unaware of everything that had gone down in the past thirty minutes, and said, "Oh did you already meet? Dr. Lang was my RIC attending!"
He smiled awkwardly back. "So, are you all rotating through RIC this year?" "Next month, actually!" one of my guy friends said.
"You too?" he gestured at me, sounding a little bit aghast.
"No, I'll see you in March!" I told him.
"Ah. Looking forward to it...nice meeting you guys," he replied, but he could not sound any less enthused.
We walked back over to our post at the bar, where we promptly dissolved into fits of giggles, as Judy kept asking what exactly was so funny.
My friends suggested that I keep the flower and wear it in my white coat for my rotation. I found out the next day that one of the guys actually took it. Just in case he needed it for blackmail. Even though grades no longer matter.
