He's constantly on his iPhone, playing Words With Friends, and gives off this aloof air of "I'm too smart and awesome to be involved in this cerebral neuro crap." When we round on patients, he never goes into the room with the rest of the team, but rather stays at the nursing station, pretending to write orders, even on patients that aren't even his. He never comes to morning signout, and always arrives ten minutes late to rounds.
And he wears a bowtie.
Every day.
Every single freaking day.
Seriously.
But I can deal with all that.
Except today, I came by to find my senior resident because the radiology resident wouldn't approve one of the imaging tests that we wanted, and I wanted to give him an update.
My co-intern was playing Words With Friends next to him and overheard our conversation.
CO-INTERN
What do you mean he won't do it? Did you tell him the whole family history?
ME
Yes. And I told him about all the crazy symptoms that she's been having too.
CO-INTERN
You don't know how to talk to these people. You have to give them the facts and only the facts.
ME
Um, I know. And I did.
CO-INTERN
[loud audible sigh]
Let me show you how it's done.
ME
...
CO-INTERN
[on the phone]
Hi, this is Dr. [name redacted], my patient needs that test and she needs it yesterday. [pause] Yes, I know you spoke with my intern already, but she's psych so she doesn't really understand what's going on...
My jaw dropped.
I'm sorry. We're both interns. I belong to no one. And I am definitely not his intern. And secondly, sure, I'm psych, but I went to med school, and you know what? I actually pay attention in rounds. I probably know more about my patient than he think he does.
Ugh, hate.
I was so happy that the neurorads fellow wouldn't approve the exam for him, either. Sure, it wasn't great for our patient, but it made me feel so vindicated. I do know what I'm doing. And no one can bring me down.
Especially someone who wears a clip-on bowtie.
