How absolutely miserable the interns seem on the other side.
Today, I got signout from the current intern on the neuro service, and not only did I not understand a single acronym coming out of her mouth, she didn't smile or reassure me once!
I suppose I should be glad I did a SICU rotation, and I can still hear Dr. Corbridge's crazy voice in my head when it comes to vent settings, but it did me no good today.
CURRENT INTERN
So yeah, this guy is a 45 year old DS patient with DM, HTN, EDS, HL, [more abbreviations], and is here for a [abbreviation]. He also needs an [abbreviation] and [acronym] and you should perform [mnemonic] daily. Tomorrow, be sure to check his [acronym]. Oh, and he's Spanish speaking and his family would like to be updated. You'll have to call them in Mexico City. Anyhow, we expect that by the weekend, he'll be ready to transfer to [abbreviation] unless his [abbreviation] comes back abnormal, in which case you should send him to [abbreviation]. Questions?
ME
Haha, of course not. That was such a clear signout.
CURRENT INTERN.
Yes. Do you want to know his vent settings?
ME
Should I know them?
CURRENT INTERN
Well. You are a doctor aren't you?
ME
Haha, I meant, doesn't the respiratory therapist decide weaning parameters?
CURRENT INTERN
Yes, but you're the one who approves it. You went to medical school. You do know vent settings right?
ME
Well, I'm a little rusty, but yeah, I'm sure it'll come back eventually. So lay it on me. Is the patient on SIMV or AC settings? Square shape? What's his PS? Peep? FiO2?
CURRENT INTERN
[blinks]
He's on CRVC.
ME
Oh that one!
I had no idea what she was talking about. I just started throwing out all the abbreviations I remembered from my SICU days, just to pretend I could speak the medical language too.
Yet, for some odd reason, I think it backfired, because now I have a list of 22 critically ill patients, no idea how to manage any of them, and I'm the poor resident responsible for the entire unit (and then some!) starting at 7am tomorrow morning.
Help.
