It's been a year, but I still miss you every day.

See you again

Shutting down for the next five weeks so that I can finally start that whole studying for boards thing. Good luck to everyone, enjoy the glorious sunshine-y weather, and I'll catch you all on the flip side.

Keep your fingers (and toes!) crossed for me. I need all the help I can get.

My life would suck without you

My two best friends graduated today.

Graduated!

And as they walked across that stage as our dean called them by their full names, with that "Doctor" salutation before it, I gotta admit that I got a little teary.

I am so proud of them, and just a little bit sad that there will be no more spontaneous fried chicken dinners. A little nostalgic knowing that the three of us won't sit in front of the TV for hours on end as we get sucked into the latest Bravo reality show marathon. No more handmade dreamsicle cakes. No more surprise trips to Best Buy and cupcake stores.

But even though those things might not happen any longer - given that J is moving across 5 million state lines, and Lisa across 2 county lines - I know that our friendship is going to last forever. After all, you can't be best friends for seven years, and not have it mean something.

So while I'm a little teary that one chapter is ending, I'm so excited for them and what the future means.

I almost didn't go to graduation today. There was so much to study, hospital patients to see, and board review lectures to attend.

But I went. I played hookey and went. And thank goodness for that. Because it was their graduation! There will always be something to study, some class to attend. But this - this was a celebration. Of their accomplishments. Of our friendship. And how far we've come since that first week of undergrad when I asked the two of them to help me run for dorm government.

My two best friends graduated today. Graduated!

I think I'm still a little in shock.

So congratulations to my Dr. J and Dr. Lisa. Good luck, I love you, and I'll miss you every day.

Boom boom pow

SNL needs to add Justin Timberlake as one of their regulars right away. Because every time he hosts, I know it's gonna be a good episode.

And while everyone is talking about the Motherlover digital short (which is very funny and oh so wrong), my favorite sketch was this one:



Justin Timberlake is a giant boob! Singing parodies of current pop songs in the vein of plastic surgery! How much funnier could it possibly get?

Trouble is a friend

So I tend to freak out a lot. As you may have noticed.

The other day, I was talking to Neil on the phone as he walked back from something, and I was freaking out about boards and third year and the possibility of me dying from food poisoning.

He surprisingly didn't hang up until all my hypochondriac fears were gone, and I was back on track with the studying.

So then I decided to call him back.

Neil
Hello?

Me
Sorry to call back! I just wanted to let you know that I think you are an amazing friend.

Neil
[weird noise]
Okay! Go ahead!

Me
...

Neil
Hello? Michi? Go ahead!

Me
Um, I think you are a great friend? Do you seriously want me to elaborate and come up with reasons for why you're a great friend?!

Neil
Wait, what?

Turns out that a motorist had driven by at the beginning of our conversation, so he really had no idea what I had said. And thinking that I needed to vent about something (per usual), he responded in kind.

So yeah, we laughed a lot at that.

And then I realized I had already written up reasons for his birthday two years back!

(click to enlarge)

Oh Neil. You are a good friend. Hard of hearing, yes, but a good friend nevertheless.

--
Yes, I deliberately censored the image. Wouldn't want anyone to be Google-able during interview season, now would we?

Shadows and regrets

Yesterday night at 11pm, J called me up. "Hey Michelle! I have an extra ticket to the midnight showing of Wolverine...you wanna come?? It'll be FREE!"

I debated and hemmed and hawed, but ended up staying home. I had class in the morning and PBL to finish up, and let's face it. I'm an old senior citizen, and need to be in bed by midnight.

It turned out to be the WORST DECISION OF MY LIFE.

This morning I woke up to gchats and email messages about how HUGH JACKMAN made a surprise appearance at our very own theater.

Of course, if I followed him on twitter, I would have known too.

DANG IT ALL. People's Sexiest Man Alive! The OSCARS HOST! The hottest Australian man on EARTH. In MY building's theater!!!

WHYYYYYYY??????? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

. . .

So yeah. Regrets? I've got a few.

I haven't felt this much teenage angst in a long time. Thanks to PBL and my stupid sleep cycle for ruining my only chance at meeting Mr. Jackman.

God only knows

To whomever is hexing my life, please stop.

It's been really hard to breathe the past couple of days. There's always something to do, something to read, something to fill out, something to study for.

I just can't seem to catch a break.

My heart rate is seemingly permanently elevated, I feel like I'm constantly gasping for air, and I've been subsisting on fruit and granola. Oh, and soda. Lots and lots of soda.

On Monday, I had a unit test. And that afternoon I had a board review lecture. Which I will have every day of the week until God knows when. After that I had to go into our fake medical student clinic to practice fake pelvic exams on plastic models, and listen to heart sounds and lungs. Wherein I realized that while I might know that an Austin Flint murmur is associated with aortic regurgitation, I actually have no idea what it's supposed to sound like. Similarly, I also have no clue what the difference is between a wheeze and a monotypic wheeze, except that the latter sounds quieter. But maybe that's just me. (I also might have actually memorized the name incorrectly, so don't yell at me if you have no idea what I'm talking about. Because clearly, I haven't got a clue either.)

Yes, I'm talking about all those physical exam skills I'm going to need in less than 3 months. It's kinda stressing me out.

And then today, after filling out all the paperwork necessary so that I can work at the lovely VA hospital next year (required, naturally), I hit the final save and submit button, and the government locks me out of the program, with a lovely error message saying that I don't have the proper credentials to log in. It waited for forty-five minutes to tell me I wasn't logged in properly?!

Seriously? Seriously??

So now I'm going to wait another thirty minutes, and then go back through the painstaking PAIN of filling in all the places that I've lived in, all the times I've been employed and unemployed, and looking up my birth certificate information all over again.

And today, on my way home from school, I got hit by a giant wall of water, not once, but TWICE. Seriously, if there's a giant puddle in the road, please don't go driving through it at 80mph, especially after you see the cab in front of you soak everyone on the sidewalk. Thanks, taxicab drivers of Chicago, I really wanted that dirty sewage water shower. I wanted it so much, I wanted a double dose of it.

Of course, throughout all of this stress - go find three hospital patients and do a write-up! turn in your paperwork! get your face fit for infectious disease masks! go check yourself for TB because this is what happens when you don't! prepare for board review! figure out the treatment for MLL! oh crap, it doesn't exist! - there's the dark cloud of boards looming overhead.

My brain is always on. My anxiety center is on overdrive and my body is constantly trying to decide between fight or flight. And honestly, a big part of me just wants to run away and hide.

So please. If you're hexing my life, just stop. I could really use a break from all the bad news bears.