It's decided. I want the Grey's Anatomy writers to be there to script every key point of my life. Don't get me wrong. I don't need that affair, or the fiance dying, or the dog getting put to sleep even. And there were some moments where I wanted to throw things at my TV (like when Izzie was being so very unethical, the sex scene, the dog dying unnecessarily, Cristina's inability to be there for her boyfriend). I cringed and watched the show through my fingers during much of the show. It was not my most favorite episode. But then there were those moments that made up for all of it.
Like when Denny proposed to Izzie with that line: "I want to go to bed with you. Wake up with you. And everything else in between with you." Or when McVet told Meredith that he wanted to make plans with her. He has plans, people! Plans! Or that touching touching moment when Alex picked up Izzie in that Prince Charming kind of way, and comforted her. Or when George told Callie that when he says those three little words to her, he wants to mean them, and not just say them for the sake of saying them. Or when Alex gave that amazing medicine-as-a-sports-team analogy.
And for heaven's sake - that ending song was great. If I lay here - if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget about the world?
I shouldn't like this show so much. But I do. Why? Besides the fact that I have two X chromosomes, it's because I can identify with so many of the characters. And because I hope for those kind of friendships. That kind of romance.
Now I'm sure some of you all are wondering why I'm rambling on about a television show and how it's possibly relevant to what I'm trying to say. Well here it is. I love those moments because you realize how much everyone cares for everyone else. Sometimes, I think I need a little bit more validation in my friendships. Anyone can be there for you. The question is, do they want to be there? I guess I measure my friendships by how much someone seeks me out in times of need, in times of whatever. It validates my friendship. It validates me. Because if they're going to seek me out, that means they value when I go to them unasked. It makes me realize that they want to be in my company. They appreciate it. Heck, maybe they even value it. Let's face it - my biggest worry is that I'm going to be that cousin no one wants to invite to the wedding, but everyone feels obligated to because you're The Cousin. I don't want to be that friend.
It's not just the words that I need. It's the actions. The feelings. The caring. Anyone can ask you how you are. And just as easily, anyone can brush off a bad day by merely saying, "I'm okay." A true friend, in my opinion, is going to probe to see if that "okay" is actually code for "really bad - and I need someone to hold me." That's what proves to me that you care about the friendship, about the friend. You make an effort. And it's not just any superficial kind of effort - you can see right through those. It has to be genuine, and let's not lie - it absolutely rubs me the wrong way if you're just going through the motions of being a good friend. And believe you me, I can tell. I've done it too. I'm not proud of it. And I hope to be better. But oh boy, can I recognize it.
Sometimes, a girl needs a really good hug. Or sweet nothings that make her swoon just a little, and wonder if she's living a fairytale. What this girl needs most is someone to want to make plans with her. Plans, people. Plans. Plans make a girl feel wanted.
3 years ago
