The other day, I was thinking about how there's been a drought in "sponsored" posts on my blog. Maybe it's because my past beaus are either on another continent (insert they-couldn't-jump-over-hedges-fast-enough-to-get-away-from-me joke here), dating another girl who is so unlike me it's scary, thinking about dating another girl and tell me about it weekly (a clear sign that we must now be friends), or have sworn off girls in pursuit of that elusive PhD.
Anyhow, I've been enjoying my awkward-free days - minus that one incident with the away messages, which I've chalked up to mere coincidence. But wouldn't you know it...just when I think I can abdicate the Queen of Awkward throne, something happens that makes me realize that awkwardness follows my every move.
Last night, I was in Chicago to see my friends and do a little apartment shopping. Time got away from us, and after hugging them goodbye, I had to rush to make it to the bus stop in time. Now, mind you, at 5'9" I'm pretty much a giantess, so I take long strides by default. Once I get going, my power-walk clocks in at around 5mph. As I walked down the avenue, I glanced over to the opposite sidewalk, and noticed a very good-looking guy walking towards me. As he got closer, I couldn't shake the feeling that I knew him from somewhere - and then it hit me. It was him - the tall, dimpled Taiwanese boy. However, I haven't seen him in 3+ years, so I couldn't be positive. And since he seemed to be completely oblivious to my side of the sidewalk, I figured there was no harm in blatantly staring continuously at him as I tried to make out whether or not the mysterious cutie across the street had the requisite dimples.
While I was fixated on the guy across the street, I was paying absolutely no attention to where I was going, and consequently plowed into the guy in front of me, who had stopped for the red light, right at the instant that I noticed that the boy from the other side of the street had started to turn his head (probably to look both ways before crossing the street). Given that I was going at 5mph, I knocked into the guy in front of me with a vengeance, causing the coffee he was holding to jostle and spill all over his hand. Since he had just gotten it from the Starbucks on the corner, he immediately yelped and promptly dropped the cup. Which then splashed onto the ground, causing more people to yelp and jump out of the way.
Obviously, I immediately started freaking out (because that's just what I do), making sure that the guy with the coffee spill was okay. I mean, McDonald's was sued for not warning their customers that the coffee is hot. I just inadvertently spilled steaming hot coffee all over this guy's hand - and given his white coat and how I was in such close proximity to the med school, I was positive that he was probably a world-class surgeon whose livelihood depends on his hands.
Thankfully, he wasn't. And he was okay. After yelling another "sorry!" to his retreating back, I saw an escape route and quickly took it.
I didn't look back. So I have no idea if the guy across the street actually was The Guy or if he saw me, and if he did see me, whether he saw my moment of klutziness.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the answer is no.
So you see, I might be done with the awkward situations, but then I go and take up the Queen of Embarassing crown. Really, could my life be any more of a punchline?
3 years ago
