Natural's not in it

I'm not a big fan of public displays of affection.

Well, that's a little bit of a lie. I like hiding in a friend's shoulder during scary movies, toss around endearments too easily, and I always get butterflies when that special someone holds my hand. I even think it's cute when a guy picks up a girl and swing her around when she runs up to him for that oh-my-god-I-haven't-seen-you-in-forever hug.

Those are cute displays of affection. Friendly displays.

What's not so cute?

Watching someone stuff his tongue down his girlfriend's ear, as she squirms and giggles in his lap, running her hand through his almost-all-gone hair. While I'm trying to eat. And study. Right outside of our lecture hall. Along with at least twenty other people, who are just as shocked and appalled as I am.

Seriously.

How can anyone think that that is appropriate?

Michelle tip #832047: A couch in a lobby filled with students at lunchtime, and floor-to-ceiling windows, is NEVER a good place to get busy.

I know. Words of wisdom. Words to live by.

Now if this were a one-time thing, I would still be grossed out, but I'd probably forget it about it within the hour.

Too bad it was one of those things where everyday for two weeks, at exactly twelve noon, the boy and the girl would meet at that exact same couch, and do as Marvin Gaye sang, and get it on.

Now you might think that we should have just found another place to study. And passive-aggressive me probably would have. Thank goodness I have friends who weren't about to let two law students, or two business students, or two nothings take over our building. We knew for a fact they weren't med students and we weren't about to let them walk all over our turf, swapping spit.

So my friend Jess went up to them and asked them to stop, since they were visibly distracting people, and making it hard for some of us to eat lunch. The couple was shocked that their love for each other could be construed as gross. They tried to mutter an excuse, but ended up just sputtering.

So Jess walked back to her table and proceeded to continue studying.

Five minutes later, the guy came up to my table, put his hand around Amy, a friend I was eating with, and said condescendingly, "I guess some people can't understand two people in love, but if you really were studying, you'd be focused on your books, and not on me and my girlfriend."

Amy and I sat there. Speechless. Shocked.

Shocked that the guy actually thought he was in the right. If someone had come up to me and complained about anything, I would have turned beet red and immediately left. How could he possibly think that making out in public, on a regular daily basis, was acceptable?! And how dare he mistake Amy and I for Jessica?

Seriously? Dude, not all Asians look alike. And seriously? Please stop trying to make a baby in front of everyone to see. I think the phrase "get a room" was coined just for them.

I just hope I don't see him and his girlfriend at noon tomorrow. At those same couches.