Stop this train

I'm apathetic.

Which is just one step up from depressed, and the only reason why I'm not depressed is because I know the 7 signs of depression and I love eating and sleeping way too much to be actually depressed.

Maybe just mildly.

Call it seasonal affect disorder, call it the winter blues, call it whatever you want, but I'm way more unhappy and stressed out than usual. I am not the same person I was over the summer. Which is sad, because I think I was a pretty fun person. Now, my life revolves around studying. Nothing but studying. The only time I'm not studying is when I'm power-walking home from lectures, rushing to get back to studying.

I even dream about studying. And by dreams, I mean I wake up in a cold sweat because I'll be studying in my dream, and I won't know the answer to the random question in my dream, and I freak out. I haven't seen the sun in eons. And I miss it. I live for sunshine and flipflops. I am, afterall, a California girl.

There's no end to this studying. No light to walk towards.

And everyday, I get bombarded with more information that I need to learn and study. And then study some more.

And that's not even taking into account how much reviewing I need to do to keep it all in my head.

I want to be able to tell myself that it'll get better. But I just don't see how it will.