It's because Asian mothers beget Asian women. And Asian mothers are the ones who sit next to their Asian female offspring as they learn how to drive.
Admittedly, my mom is probably just anxious. I mean, this is the first time in twenty-six years that she hasn't been the the one in the driver seat. And I haven't quite learned how to finesse the gas pedal or the brake, so I've been unintentionally peeling off at green lights and coming to whiplash-inducing stops. Granted, I also tend to stop two car lengths behind the limit line, and then slowly inch my way forward to finally come to a jerking stop, only to look up and realize that in that amount of time, the light has turned green again. So of course, I go peeling off again.
So sure, it makes sense that she's holding on for dear life. Holding on so firmly there are now permanent marks and impressions of her fingers on the car seat.
But hey. I passed boards. I graduated from medical school. I think I'm generally a pretty smart person. So I can do this. I can learn how to drive. I mean, the DMV offers tests in Spanish! If someone who is not English proficient can get a driver's license, I damn well better be able to learn how to operate a car.
But the way my mother talks to me, you'd never know it.
MOTHER
Stop stop!! There's a car ahead!!!
ME
Mom, it's in the other lane. Going the other direction.
---
MOTHER
Slow slow slow! Slow down! Why are you going so fast!!!
ME
Mom, I'm going 50mph and trying to merge. Do you want me to come to a stop on the freeway?
---
MOTHER
Are your lights on?
ME
I think so. Doesn't that light on my dash mean that it's on?
MOTHER
I think you need to click the lights once more.
---
I then proceeded to drive with my brights on for the rest of the night.
The best part of all this? My driving instructor yelled at me a couple of days later, and told me I wasn't allowed to drive with anyone but him, because I was picking up all these bad habits and wrong ways of driving. For example, did you know that you're not supposed to slow down when merging? You're merging lanes, I thought you had to slow down! But no. And also, did you know that when you're doing traffic checks as you cross intersections, you're not supposed to slow down so you can look both ways? Apparently, you're just supposed to keep going at 45mph as you crane your head 180 degrees. Who knew? Thanks, mom.
But you know what, regardless of all that, I gotta say that I kinda love driving. And when my Asian mother isn't yelling at me to slow down or stop, it's kinda really relaxing and wonderful.
