ME
So sir, can you tell me where you're from?
PATIENT
Greenville, Kentucky, ma'am.
ME
And why are you in Los Angeles?
PATIENT
I'm on my way to Bakersfield to meet the movie stars. Because I'm starting acting too.
ME
Bakersfield?
PATIENT
Yeah. My third cousin, MacGyver, lives there.
ME
Is that so?
PATIENT
Yeah, so if you could help me get to Bakersfield so that I can start my acting career, I'd really appreciate it, ma'am.
ME
And do you know where you are right now?
PATIENT
Yes ma'am. Los Angeles.
ME
And do you know where you are right now?
PATIENT
Yes ma'am. Los Angeles.
ME
Have you been in movies or television before?
PATIENT
No ma'am. I usually hunt vampires. That's my real job. But don't tell the Count.
ME
The Count?
PATIENT
Yeah. Dracula. You know.
