I'd forgotten how amazing my friends are. Why is it that we often get so hung up on one person that we overlook and downplay how loved we are elsewhere?
One of my girlfriends and I were discussing the book, He's just not that into you, the other day. And while we're not going to dwell on that point for today's blog, the authors did make a huge point about how we all suffer from superiority bias. They threw up some stats - nine out of ten girls will blah blah blah -whatever, stats don't matter. The point was that everyone thinks (and hopes) that they're the exception, but in reality, they're the norm. They are not the one out of ten, they are part of the nine. And let's face it. No matter how much you think you're better than the average Joe Schmoe, the stats - and common sense - just don't lie. Not everyone can be better than average.
And sitting in bed last night, thinking about why this past week was such a downer for me, I've realized that I need to come to terms with that. I, Michelle, am not some exceptional being. He doesn't not call me because he's busy - he's just not that into me. I didn't get an A on my midterm because I'm not amazingly smart - I am just your average student, struggling for marginally good grades. On so many fronts, I wish so hard that I'd be the exception, but it always ends up that I'm just the norm.
That sinking feeling you feel every once in a while? That's you realizing that you are just the norm.
It sucks, I know.
So to bring it back to the point of this blog...My friends are amazing because when I hit that low - that depths of despair feeling - I know I have a multitude of friends to reach out to. Maybe I'm being overly idealistic again, but when it comes to my friends, I know that I am the exception. I've been blessed with friends who are the most wonderful people in the world (yup, out comes the hyperbole again). Some people can only claim one or two or three best friends. I've got six. That's more than I can count on one hand! Maybe it's because we were thrown together as the misfits from our freshman dorm. Maybe it's because after we've lived - lived lived - with each other for 3+ years, we know each other intimately well. We have our arguments and disagreements, but it's a testament to our friendships that we're all still as close as ever.
They love me. And I love them. And I gotta stop allowing other people's opinions, other people's actions, other people period, to hurt me. Because when it comes down to it, my little circle of girlfriends is really the panel of truth. They're the ones who know me the best. And if they can love me in spite of all my shortcomings and all my flaws, then I shouldn't let other people bring me down with their one-sided critiques. It's okay to be the norm, when you've got friends who will do everything to make you feel exceptional.
3 years ago
