And yesterday I didn't sleep a wink.
I kept having dreams about tying knots that wouldn't tie. And getting asked crazy anatomy questions in foreign languages. And locking my clothes in my locker and then finding out that I'm in the wrong hospital. Apparently merely going to school naked was too inconsequential for my brain.
Anyways, so I got to the hospital nice and early before the sun came up today. Opened and closed my locker successfully. Put on scrubs. And then I went and met my team. Who were awesome, just like all my other past teams. And then I went to go meet my attending in the OR. Who just happened to have given us a lecture on Friday. And pimped us all to death on acute abdominal issues.
I was shaking in my boots. (And by boots, I mean surgical booties.)
ME
Hi Dr. Stout? I'm Michelle, and I'll be in your OR today.
DR. STOUT
Oh okay. Well, this can either be lots of fun for you...or not. It all depends on one question.
ME
Are you about to ask me what I want to be when I grow up?
DR. STOUT
Haha, no. What are your top 5 movies of all time?
ME
Um. Roman Holiday is my ultimate favorite.
DR. STOUT
Ah, Audrey Hepburn fan, eh? Okay, you pass muster. Today will be a good day for you.
Hi Dr. Stout? I'm Michelle, and I'll be in your OR today.
DR. STOUT
Oh okay. Well, this can either be lots of fun for you...or not. It all depends on one question.
ME
Are you about to ask me what I want to be when I grow up?
DR. STOUT
Haha, no. What are your top 5 movies of all time?
ME
Um. Roman Holiday is my ultimate favorite.
DR. STOUT
Ah, Audrey Hepburn fan, eh? Okay, you pass muster. Today will be a good day for you.
And then he didn't ask me a single pimp question!! It was more relaxing than I could have possibly thought possible. All I did was retract, cut sutures, and then retract some more. It was fabulous.
And then my retractor slipped. And I yelped as I watched my retractor fall out of place, messing up the surgical field. Instinctively, I apologized.
ME
Oops! Sorry!
DR. STOUT
Michelle, you never say oops in the operating room.
ME
[waiting to be berated on my terrible retracting skills]
DR. STOUT
Saying oops in the operating room? It's like herpes in a whorehouse. Everyone knows it happens, but it's bad for business to advertise it. Especially when the patient is merely sedated, and not under general anesthesia...
Oops! Sorry!
DR. STOUT
Michelle, you never say oops in the operating room.
ME
[waiting to be berated on my terrible retracting skills]
DR. STOUT
Saying oops in the operating room? It's like herpes in a whorehouse. Everyone knows it happens, but it's bad for business to advertise it. Especially when the patient is merely sedated, and not under general anesthesia...
I have a feeling this month is going to be eons better than the last. But then again, my ENT attending set the bar so low, he buried it into the ground.
