The one I use most often is Lindsay Lohan and her alcohol addiction.
The second-most common one is Britney Spears, especially when I need to talk about conservatorship. "You remember when Britney Spears shaved her head?" "Oh yeah, she was a trainwreck!" "And have you heard about her in the news recently?" "No, well, yeah -- they're doing some MTV tribute to her...they were talking about it on that talk show--" "I mean, have you heard anything negative about her recently?" "Hm, no, I guess not." "Well, that's because she's conserved. And that's what we want to do for you..."
I had a patient who agreed that her life was kinda spiraling out of control - Britney Spears style - and she probably needed someone to keep an extra eye on her. So we went to court to get her conserved and set up with a public guardian.
But there's a lot of waiting involved with court. We had to sit through current conservatorships that were getting renewed, asking the court for specific resources (bicycles, tennis shoes, shopping carts, etc), and then we had to sit through conservatorship terminations.
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LAWYER
We would like to end this conservatorship because the conservatee is no longer with us.
JUDGE
What happened?
LAWYER
She died, Your Honor. The conservatee was placed at a nursing home two weeks after conservatorship was started --
JUDGE
Oh, I remember her. She had a diagnosis of Stage IV skin cancer. Is that why she passed?
LAWYER
Unfortunately, she choked on her dinner and was unable to be revived.
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Over in the audience gallery, my patient turned to me and looked at me in absolute horror.
PATIENT
Dr. Wu! I don't want to be under conservatorship! I don't want to die!!
ME
Don't worry, you won't die. We'll make sure you go to a good facility. But to be on the safe side, just make sure you chew your food carefully.
