PATIENT
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?
ME
Sir, please lower your voice. I'm just dropping by to see what's going on.
PATIENT
You aren't giving me the right drugs, that's what the fuck is going on, bitch!
ME
Oh?
PATIENT
DON'T FUCKING PLAY WITH ME, YOU FUCKING BITCH. I'M GONNA CUT OUT YOUR FUCKING HEART AND FUCKING EAT IT IF YOU DON'T GET ME MY MARIJUANA.
ME
Sir, really, I don't need to hear that kinda language. Especially when you're trying to get me to do something for you.
PATIENT
If you're not gonna give me my fucking medical marijuana, then get your fat ass in here and suck my cock, bitch. I haven't had sex in four days! I fucking have needs!
---
Dear God,
I would really appreciate it if you could give me one day when my patients aren't cursing me out and asking for uppers and pain killers. Just one day. If you have time.
Thanks,
Michelle
P.S. Is it bad that in that entire diatribe, I was most offended by the "fat ass" comment? I blame the free meals at County.
