So the Boy got me a present for our monthiversary. And it's sitting in my living room right now, covered by a French Connection shopping bag. And I'm going mad out of mind trying to figure out what it could possibly be, because I hate not knowing things.
Here's a true story, but promise me you won't judge. Okay, when I was little, I used to unwrap some of my Christmas presents before actual Christmas present-opening, because otherwise I would go crazy with all the shaking and trying to Spidey sense what was inside. So, I would just unwrap one of the side flaps of the present, because that's all you need to see what toy it is (along with the warnings about parts that could be ingested by children 4 and under). Then you take a piece of tape, exactly the same size as the original, place it over the original tape, refold in the same creases, and voila - no one has to know. Amazing, right? If it weren't for the fact that I'm so amazingly clumsy and I do not have the muscle necessary to kick some Russian mob butt, I bet I would make a pretty good spy. I also just watched five episodes of Chuck (which is a pretty great show, by the way), so that might have something to do with that last statement.
Anyways, I think I wanted a dollhouse one year, and using my awesome FOE (find-out-early) method, I found out that my parents had gotten me a microscope instead. And, really, it was necessary that I find out in advance, so that I could muster up fake excitement and joy at being able to magnify things like lint and hair and ants.
I know I sound like a giant brat, but really, I just like knowing. I can't explain why. I hate surprises. I just want to know. It's like torture to me to not know. You know, once I found out I got that microscope, I started thinking of all the things I could do with it. So I did end up liking my present a whole lot. Probably only 15% of my excitement was fake that Christmas morning! I just like knowing. Cause I like planning. And in order to plan, you need to know. This is all very circular, and it's very late at night, but that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
So why am I up so late?
Because I promised I would wait. So here I am. Waiting for the moment I can finally actually open my monthiversary present. And I'm having problems sleeping, because I know that I get to open it in the morning. I finally get to KNOW in less than twelve hours. But what an agonizing twelve hours it'll be...
The Boy did give me a couple of hints (after I begged and pleaded, of course). 1. It's from the gift shop of the children's hospital, and 2. he saw it and decided that I had to have it - because once he saw it, he couldn't imagine me without it.
So what could it be?
It's probably a stuffed animal, considering that it's from the children's hospital. But I already have twelve to fifteen stuffed animals (depending on which ones you count as mine and which ones I've stolen from others). It's also probably pink, being that pink is my color of choice for joy and happiness and all wintertime accessories. And it's definitely not anything breathing or edible. Or at least it isn't now. Now that it's been sitting, suffocating in a plastic bag for the past two days.
Anyone been to the children's hospital recently? Who might know what it is? Because the suspense is really and truly killing me. Slowly, but surely. And I really need to get some sleep. And if the Boy is reading this, you should really put me out of my misery and just let me open it already. Please?
3 years ago
