Work it out

So I went to the gym today.

[I will pause here for effect.]

Yeah, I know I tried to say it all nonchalantly and stuff, but holy cow dude! I went to the gym! I never go to the gym. But today! Today, I got off my obese-inside butt, and went to the gym.

So yay me!

Anyways, so I'm down at the gym, and I start with the elliptical (and end there too, but really, that's not a key point in this story). 20 minute program, Fat Burner workout, level 1. I'm not reaching for the stars, but that's because I know my limitations. And yes, I'm very limited.

At about five minutes in, I'm sweating up a storm, and an older man comes over and starts to say something to me. In my sweat-induced haze, I can't quite hear him, so I slow down, convinced that I'm using the machine wrong or something. Maybe I accidentally stole it from him while he was on a bathroom break.

No, no, don't stop. I'm a trainer. I was just saying it looks like you worked up quite a sweat pretty quickly.

Um, yeah. And even though he told me to keep running, I didn't start running again, mainly because my calves were killing me after just five minutes. Like, seriously burning.

Well, keep going. Keep it up.

Okay, thanks.

I was unsure why he was giving me free trainer tips, and my legs were begging for me to stop, but for some odd reason, I started back up again. Each step more agonizing than the last.

Then ten minutes later, he came by again. This time, I was convinced I was going to get yelled at for doing something wrong, and stopped right away.

So that book that you're reading...

It was BRS Pathology.

Yes?

So is that for when you get terribly lost, and you need to find a path?

It's a review book.

He just stared at me for a little. Yeah, I know. That was just my pathetic attempt at a joke... And then he walked back over to his trainee, who was grunting and about to bust a blood vessel in his head as he bench pressed way more than he was probably supposed to. Speaking of bench pressing, isn't the trainer supposed to be there and spot you? Anyways, I'm totally going off point.

So here's the thing. After he walked away, I totally got the joke. But seriously, in the moment, as I was breathing heavily and about to collapse, I thought he was talking about getting lost in notes and notes of lectures and powerpoints, and well, yes, I was using BRS to help me "find the way." In fact, I was amazed that he knew what I was feeling! Maybe I misheard him when he said he was a trainer. Maybe he had actually said that he was from Northwestern.

But no, he's a trainer. And he probably thinks I'm terribly rude and unfriendly.