Touch me, tease me

Oh the things I learn in school. Today, our 11am lecture was about female sexual dysfunction. And our professor was this very sweet, mellow, slightly older woman. She does couples counseling and so, throughout the presentation on dyspareunia and hypoactive sexual disorder, she would tell little vignettes about her patients.

This story, though, brought the house down with laughter. Women really are complicated creatures, and sometimes, men just don't understand.

Doctor
So what brings you in today?

Woman
Well, sex is painful for me.

Man
...And I don't understand why.

Doctor
Well, tell me - what is your process?

Woman
[clearly a little embarrassed]
Well we kiss. And then we touch. And then that sets him off, so we go at it.

Doctor
And what's the timeline on this? How long does that take?

Woman
Maybe five, ten minutes?

Doctor
Well, even though that might be enough time for him, you might need a little more time to get aroused and allow for sufficient lubrication to occur...which may be why you're experiencing some pain.

Man
Oh she's aroused! How can she not? See, I do everything this book says to do. [He pulls out the aforementioned book, to the amazement of our lecturer, who claims that it had various post-it tags marking certain sections.] For instance, it says to touch her here, and I do.

Woman
[timidly]
...but I don't like it.

Man
So clearly, there must be something wrong with her, right? Can you help us, Doctor?

Ah, a perfect example of why going by the book isn't always the best option. Figuratively and literally.

But perhaps the funniest thing was after class, as we were putting away our books and walking out - to the library, to lunch, to wherever it is med students disappear to - I overheard one of my classmates asking a friend, "Hey, do you think it'd be weird for me to ask our lecturer what book it was that patient was reading?"